Hope for Enduring Friendships
“When we can no longer change a situation, we must change ourselves.” ~Victor Frankl
You think you’ll be friends forever, that this close bond you shared will grow stronger as you grow into your dotage. You’ll be zimmer framing it down to the pub for a drink and a catch up, like you did two weeks ago or a month before that.
But each of your lives are changing and each are heading in different directions. You find yourself doing most of the communicating and you’ll be sending any sort of random text, just so you can hear from them and then you fool yourself just for a little while that things haven’t changed. And for a little while you breathe easily and happily. But you feel this sneaky doubt coming upon you again and it terrifies you, it freezes your heart because they’re still so important to you, so dear, so wonderful. And you feel helpless because you think there is nothing you can do to change the situation.
When I first started contemplating the wonderful Victor Frankl quote, I thought should I have to change everything I am, to become this person your friends want to spend time with, curse my black and white thinking. But I think now it’s more about changing your own thinking, and that’s what I am endeavoring to do. As to the changing myself, damn it all if I was was good enough to know and care for before, I’m good enough to know and care for now. Yes my life has been a roller-coaster of late, but I’ve done my very best with everything that was at my disposal to ride it and survive it. I tried to protect my friends from the fall out as best I could, I never asked for them 24/7, and there were many times when I could picked up the phone and screamed in pain, loneliness and despair, but I didn’t. I guess depression brings out the best and worst in everyone.
I find myself now with a renewed hope that friendship does endure, sometimes that hope is with a zesty spring and yet sometimes still I have to ride through the fear, but it’s there nonetheless. There is life after depression, hell there’s life through depression but I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Lucky you Ben & Jerry. Mmmmmm ice cream, why do you have to make it so addictive.
Hears to all my friends and a renewed and even better friendship. Love you and thank you.