The Observations and Obsessions of a Superego's Sidekick

Music for the Soul

Nearly four weeks into the treatment and back up to the full dose, I find myself, day by day with a little more energy.  I think about what it would be to return to my old self, the wonderful highs, but then I remember the lows, and swings of mood and the speed at which this occurs and so my goal is gentle and steady contentment.

My mind is so quiet, it hasn’t been so peaceful in there in such a long time, and my inner critic is silent and it’s allowed me time to explore and get to know the real me, the me I want to show the world.  The me that’s strong, free and vibrant.

I’m back now at my piano lessons and have fallen in love with the beautiful, Valse Lente by Ralph Vaughan Williams.  It puts me in mind of carnivals, masquerades and music boxes.  And of course the exquisite Moonlight Sonata, but it such a stretch for my little hands.

And I’ve returned to my studies and overcome a huge hurdle, and when I relaxed into it, it wasn’t as daunting as my imagine had me believe.  Onwards to the final exam of this part of my course, and the impetus that came from completing  my self concept has me pushing on, and each question answered, a little step closer to my goal.

I think I’m happy!



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